“The grass is always greener on the side that is fertilized with bullshit” - Experiential wisdom
DISCLAIMER
This content focuses on the subject of mental fitness and its impact on performance, reflecting solely my personal experiences. Please understand that the tools and methods mentioned are not intended as medical or any other kind of professional advice.
Everyone faces challenges in maintaining emotional balance under life's stresses, whether they're outwardly visible or not, and this invariably affects our performance in various professional and life situations. Looking back with hindsight, I can attribute most of my past mishaps to my failure in maintaining emotional balance, which led to less than optimal judgment, poor timing of actions, or ineffective communication with others.
It took me many years and several attempts to unlock some of these doors, and I've reached a point where I feel it might be useful to share my insights. I'm sharing these thoughts reluctantly, fully aware of our individual differences and the complexity and subjectivity of this topic.
The basics
“If you can’t tell what you desperately need, it’s probably sleep.”
— Kevin Kelly
Before trying to fine-tune our brain's software, it's crucial to ensure that our hardware is in the best possible shape. This involves optimizing our sleep, exercise, and nutrition. I have always tried to take care of these fundamentals, and while they aren't sufficient on their own, they certainly make the rest of the process much easier.
My personal daily routine, which mainly focuses on sleep optimization, exercise, and nutrition, is documented here for reference. I recently made several updates there, so take a look.
Physiological Stress management
Obviously operation or programming of the brain doesn’t work well under stress. However, there are several well-supported strategies to mitigate this, some of which are deceptively simple yet effective:
Being in nature
Breathing (there’re many methods), the main two I use:
Box / Tactical breathing (called tactical because it is used in combat situations to calm the mind). I use a very simple iOS app called Breethe+ where you can set your own intervals. The classic box breathing would be 4s in 4s hold 4s out 4s hold (4-4-4-4 - the box). The exact inhale/exhale/hold intervals are actually empirically discoverable for each individual. Search for CO2 tolerance test.
Physiological sigh: double inhale - long exhale (audibly of possible, almost like going down the slide). The basic idea here is that when exhale is longer then inhale - it lowers adrenaline, the reverse raises it. This technique been used in martial arts since the beginning of time.
Combining breathing with specific gaze patterns or tactile engagement with objects around you (such as toying with items on a desk during a meeting) can also be helpful.
A cold shower or plunge can temporarily increase dopamine levels. While I can confirm its benefits, I don’t particularly enjoy it. Nonetheless, some people swear by it.
Completing an unrelated (but necessary) small task, even if a distraction).
These methods not only influence neurotransmitter activity and heart rate but also allow you to subtly co-opt your autonomic nervous system for better equilibrium.
Finally, it's worth mentioning the "letting go" technique from David Hawkins's book, which provides another approach to managing stress.
Stress conditioning
Martial arts training has the unique advantage of preparing you to perform under stress. One of the initial drills I recall vividly involved standing with closed eyes while teammates would strike from various directions. The hits weren't overly painful, but they were certainly noticeable, and the task was to just stand there and take it. It was quite an unsettling experience at first.
In a similar vein, both the Stoic practice of visualizing negative outcomes—referred to as "Premeditatio Malorum" (contemplation of future adversities)—and deliberately setting up challenging situations (fasting, cold showers again, United Economy, long useless meetings - well may be not those ones) are all good methods depending on what it is for you.
Mental energy management
I would also emphasize (from experience) that mental performance is closely tied to effective energy management. Possibly this is one of the most important aspects to pay attention to.
When your nervous system is drained—whether from excessive work-related stress, a series of unfortunate events, or intense physical exertion, especially from demanding full-body functional exercises—taking a break is often the best course of action. This could mean a change of pace, total disconnection, or simply some time to relax. Those of us with type-A tendencies often overlook the need for rest, but it's crucial to acknowledge that sometimes, the best thing to work on is allowing ourselves to recover.
Having a stress score from a wearable, such as an Oura ring, can be a good prompt. Not that you don't already know it, but empirical confirmation can serve as a useful behavioral tool to prompt action.
Managing thoughts
“If You Think You're Enlightened, Go Spend a Week with Your Family”
- Ram Dass
It would be more accurate to call this section 'Managing Thoughts and Behaviors.' The basic idea is that by consciously replacing undesirable thought patterns and behaviors with desirable ones, we can reprogram our thoughts and eventually our subconscious to be more effective. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) has been around for a while and exemplifies this concept.
Of course, it's easier said than done.
There are clear parallels with sports, particularly martial arts. It might take 30-40 repetitions to learn a new movement, but unlearning a faulty one can require up to ten times more. We can control physical movements relatively easily, practicing slowly, using a mirror, or working with a partner, and these movements aren't overly complex.
Now, apply this concept to the mind? That requires a lot of training iterations. This is why therapy can take years and yet yield only marginal results. The sheer number of repetitions and variations is overwhelming.
However, that doesn't mean we shouldn't try.
I've become a big fan of the Stoic toolkit. After several years of practice, I've found it easy to learn, apply, and quite effective. I like simple things.
This isn't to undermine CBT or its more advanced forms like DBT, which have their useful tools. Albert Ellis, who developed REBT (a precursor to CBT), was significantly influenced by Stoic philosophy.
I prefer going to the source. The Romans excelled in combat, enjoyment, and wealth creation. It's a simple, time-efficient framework that's easy to apply.
The first real book I read on stoicism (outside of school) and apart from occasional skimming through Meditations was The Practicing Stoic by Ward Fransworth and I can’t recommend it highly enough.
I quickly realized that you do have to actually practice it and then stumbled on another resource that I think is absolutely awesome: A handbook for New Stoics by Massimo Pigliucci that is structured as 52-week long lesson journal for each week.
Finally, I read a page every morning from an excellent book The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday.
I most certainly don’t feel qualified to explain stoicism, yet I feel I must offer a condensed (while incomplete) list of key concepts and practices to give you a sense on how I apply it:
To succinctly capture the essence of Stoic philosophy, it is perhaps best expressed in the words of Epictetus himself:
“There are three things in which a man ought to exercise himself who would be wise and good. The first concerns desires and aversions, that a man may not fail to get what he desires, and that he may not fall into what he does not desire.
The second concerns the movements (toward an object) and a movement from an object, and generally in doing what a man ought to do, that he may act according to order, to reason, and not carelessly.
The third thing concerns freedom from deception and rashness in judgement, and generally in concerns ascents.
Of these topics the chief and the most urgent of which relates to the effects; for an effect is produced in no other way than by a failing to obtain that which a man desires or falling into that which a man would wish to avoid. This is that which bring in perturbations, disorders, bad fortune, misfortunes, sorrows, lamentations, and envy; that which makes men envious and jealous; and by these causes we are unable to even listen to the percepts of reason.”
- Epictetus. Discourses 3, 21-3
In plain terms - Stoicism can be divided into 3 disciplines: The discipline of Desire (or wish), the discipline of Action (or impulse to act) and the disciplines of Accent (or judgements).
Key practices:
Dichotomy of Control: Recognizing the difference between what is in our control (our own thoughts and actions) and what is not (external events and others' actions), and focusing our energy only on the former. Once you think about it - you realize how little is truly in your control.
Mindfulness (Prosoche): Maintaining a constant awareness of our thoughts, actions, and feelings in the present moment to live intentionally and virtuously. Training in mindfulness mediation is extremely helpful as it allows to bring up some of the awareness you achieve while quite into a busy life. I actually doubt it’s otherwise possible purely on the intellectual level, without a formal meditation training. Almost like you can intellectually think how to punch correctly, but unless you practiced under stress - good luck.
Journaling (Meditation in Stoicism): Reflecting on one's thoughts and actions through daily journaling, which serves as a tool for self-improvement and self-reflection. My sense is - everyone has to find his or her own path here. I cycled through many formats until I arrived at my own and I am still constantly tinkering with it from time to time depending on circumstances. The point is to just do it.
Here’s my current format in Apple notes:
Premeditation of Adversity (Premeditatio Malorum): Visualizing potential challenges and setbacks to prepare oneself emotionally and mentally for adversity and to diminish fear of the future. You can visualize both negative and positive outcomes (the latter is not technically Stoic - but could be useful for other purposes). Again - something you do in martial arts (i.e. visualizing an adverse scenario and the execution of various techniques in response). The important part here is not just to think about it - but try to engage all senses (smell, touch, taste) and feelings if possible.
A word of caution (speaking from experience): negative visualization is a double-edged sword, because we really don’t want to manifest bad things, just prepare for if/when they come. Especially when all senses are engaged it influences “reticular activating system" (RAS) - a network of neurons that is involved in discriminating incoming information into important versus background noise. I suspect this is where “make believe” problems tend to come from.
The View from Above: Practicing a mental shift of perspective, imagining looking at one’s life from a cosmic perspective to gain a more objective and less egocentric view of events.
Negative Visualization (Memento Mori): Contemplating the impermanence of life (or just about everything else for that matter, possessions, relationships, money, etc) and the inevitability of death to value the present and live life more fully.
Amor Fati: Embracing and loving fate, which involves accepting and even welcoming the events that occur, as part of the natural order of the universe.
Virtue Ethics: Striving to cultivate personal virtues such as wisdom, courage, justice, and moderation in all aspects of life.
Sympatheia: Acknowledging the interconnectedness of the universe and the kinship of all beings as part of a larger human community. This one has actually been genuinely hard for me.
Voluntary Discomfort: Occasionally practicing self-denial or undergoing hardships to increase one's gratitude for what one has and to build resilience against future discomforts.
Some of these practices may be easier or harder for you. But like Arnold would say - “you have to work on it”.
Trust this is enough of my pontifications on this subject. I would encourage you, if you find this helpful, to go to the original sources. Epictetus and Seneca's letters are great resources.
There is one more helpful tool in the toolbox I use - and this is from the book Loving what is by Byron Katie. The 4 questions are:
Is it true?"
"Can you absolutely know that it's true?": a bit of reductio ad absurdum, but it works …
"How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?".
"Who would you be without the thought?"
The process also includes a "turnaround," which involves considering the opposite of the original belief.
While the framework is super simple, I’d recommend listening to the entire book on audio specifically for situational examples.
Hope this helps! Remember, these tools are for programming your neural nets and aren't very efficient because we're attempting to reprogram our behaviors using the conscious mind. Choose methods that feel natural for you, and avoid getting overly wrapped up – these are just tools in the tool box.
Managing emotions
"No amount of anxiety makes any difference to anything that is going to happen.”
- Alan Watts
There's a long-running debate about what comes first—thoughts or emotions. They are likely interdependent, something we have all experienced. You feel something in your gut, you start thinking about it, and one thing feeds the other. This is the interplay between the conscious and subconscious. It highlights how incredibly difficult it is to control the subconscious with a conscious mind and who is really in charge most of the time.
There’s a school of thought (and quite persuasive at that) which argues that we have no free will. Either way, we're interested in affecting the programming, which is also ironic—because it, of course, implies that there's a programmer, which would not be consistent with a non-dualistic worldview. So here you have it—several cans of worms at once.
Back to the task at hand. The goal here is to bridge the gap between the emotions (the unconscious) and the thinking mind so that both can be complementary and in coherence as much as possible. After all, we do want to have access to the lower (at least our executive mind thinks they are lower) layers of the stack. You see the analogies in the corporate world, no doubt 🙂
The first thing to understand is that we do need to go down the elevator—that means we have to get out of the Beta brainwave state and drop at least into Alpha, and ideally Theta. That's why I meditate in the morning, just right after waking up (as the brain is still transitioning out of Theta).
So, meditate first thing in the morning if at all possible, in a quiet place that allows you to settle and relax. That's what I do. Yes, that means absolutely no checking of email, Slack, or Teams (if that's your world). Twitter/X is Ok - just kidding, absolutely not.
There are methods, of course (such as the countdown technique), to settle the mind, but these can take considerably longer in the middle of a busy day. We are still all about efficiency here.
As I've mentioned before, I use the excellent Waking Up app by Sam Harris. There are other options as well, and I’d say experiment to find what works for you. That said, in my personal opinion (having tried most of them), Waking Up is hands down the superior choice by a mile and is completely free of fluff. At some point, the app also becomes optional.
It took me years to start noticing the effects (probably at least 1.5 years). I am a slow learner. In fact, for the first six months, I constantly questioned myself—why am I doing this? It’s not working. Then, progressively, it clicked into place.
By far the first benefit is that you start noticing your thoughts and emotions, and that ability to observe becomes stronger and stronger and progressively transfers into daily life as well.
That noticing opens up additional contemplative opportunities:
Simply an ability to examine thoughts and ideas without overwhelming ego interference
Use the power of visualization to set intentions
Start appreciating the present moment, improve attention and enhance gratitude, that I think does lead to a greater happiness (or lesser unhappiness)
Try it.
What about neurofeedback wearables? I've tried several, and none worked for me. Perhaps individual brain circuitry varies, and for some people, external feedback is useful. For others, especially those with meditation training, it just adds an extra layer of delay and thus becomes counterproductive. Who knows?
The Universe, Intuition and Intention
"You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean, in a drop."
– Rumi
The nature of the universe and our relationship to it has been a subject of contemplation by many brilliant philosophers and physicists since the dawn of time. Obviously, we cannot claim to know substantive answers—just as an ant cannot comprehend the life happening above it. Nonetheless, grounding ourselves in a model of understanding, however tenuous or circular it may be, can still be helpful as we navigate, act in, and act upon this world.
While there are countless books and writings on the subject, they remain largely theories or, more often than not, conjectures—most of which are inherently non-falsifiable. This means they cannot be definitively proven or disproven, placing them in the realm of philosophical exploration rather than empirical science. As such, they must be approached with a healthy dose of skepticism and an understanding of their speculative nature.
That said, when we look across the breadth of world philosophies and spiritual traditions, unmistakable patterns emerge—seemingly independently—and some of these recurring ideas become difficult to dismiss outright. While they may not meet the rigor of falsifiability, their persistence across time and cultures suggests they offer valuable lenses through which to view our experience of reality.
I’ll recommend a few resources that I find practical and thought-provoking:
Two books by Rizwan Virk:
Simulation Hypothesis and The Simulated Multiverse. The central question is: Are we Player Characters (PCs) or Non-Player Characters (NPCs)?A Brief History of Intelligence: Evolution, AI, and the Five Breakthroughs That Made Our Brains by Max Bennet offering a non-metaphysical view on development of human mind
Vadim Zeland's Reality transurfing series:
In particular, Transurfing in 78 Days — A Practical Course in Creating Your Own Reality. This book is similar in format to The Daily Stoic, offering structured daily reflections. At its central is the idea of viewing the world as a mirror—a concept drawn from many traditions but most closely aligned with Dao Qing, emphasizing harmony and the dynamic interplay between inner intentions and outer reality, a perspective that Zeland’s work echoes.
Intuition
We all know what intuition is—the simplest example being a “gut feeling.” You can debate whether it comes from within (as some sort of autonomic AI within us) or from external influences—or perhaps a combination of both. What’s undeniable is that intuition can be profoundly helpful. There are many who hone this skill, learning to quiet the noise in their minds to reliably tap into their intuitive sense.
The good news is that there are techniques, many of them rooted in spiritual traditions, that can sharpen your ability to listen to your internal voice. A resource I particularly like is The Intuition Bible: How and Why to Tap Into Your Inner Wisdom by Happy Ali. It offers a solid list of techniques you can experiment with yourself.
Intention
Our intentions are the engines that drive us to act. However, the real challenge lies in maintaining sharp focus on our goals, especially in the face of distractions, a racing mind, or low energy. Frederick Dodson’s Reality Creation and Manifestation outlines a number of focusing exercises that I’ve found practical. These are well-known techniques that can likely be found elsewhere, but Dodson presents them in a clear, actionable format.
Final Thoughts
Some of the books I’ve referenced are less than scientific, and they contain ideas and assertions you may not agree with—or even find contradictory. That’s okay. You don’t have to fully align with an author’s worldview to benefit from their ideas or techniques. Take what resonates, apply it where it’s useful, and leave the rest.
Navigating the path
"It is not your responsibility to finish the work [of perfecting the world], but you are not free to desist from it either."
-l Rabbi Tarfon, Pirkei Avot 2:21
It is self-evident that we, as humans, have an inherent motivation to create, contribute to, and improve the world around us. We know when we are succeeding on that path, and we equally recognize when we are not.
So, how do we figure it out? The first sign is usually a feeling of being off course, which we recognize after some time. The natural—and correct—evolutionary inclination is to change course. But how do we optimize this search and minimize the chances of being misled by the impulses of the ego?
3MQ method
It represents the three most important questions I learned from Vishen Lakhiani’s work. The questions are:
What do I want to experience?
How do I want to grow?
What do I want to contribute?
The format is a one-pager, like this (a Google doc is fine). The answers are, of course, something to be contemplated, ideally several times over a period.
In all these kinds of contemplations (just like with visualizations), it's important to engage all senses when describing experiences. Literally feel yourself speaking on that stage, hear the audience, describe the shapes of the lights, the temperature in the room, etc.
The life timeline method
The second method I've found useful is to map out my life's timeline in manageable increments (like 1-2 years), akin to an OPS post-mortem. I jot down important points about these periods and try to identify Kensho and Satori moments.
In Zen Buddhism, "Kensho" means "seeing one's true nature" and refers to a sudden insight or awakening. "Satori" is similar but considered more profound and enduring. Kensho is often characterized as enlightenment gained through adversity or suffering, whereas Satori is seen as a deeper, more comprehensive awakening or enlightenment. (this is a very non-nuanced explanation—my apologies). As we examine the timeline, these moments and experiences should become self-evident.
Finally, an excellent book, "The Second Mountain" by David Brooks, which was recommended to me, was also quite helpful.
This discussion would not be complete without talking about what everyone is talking about these days - and that is what’s the place in this exploration for the use of entheogenic aids.
Obviously the promise here is bypassing the conscious mind and - back to the AI analogies instead of prompt engineering do the full fine-tuning of the model, with all the requisite risks of course.
This is not something one should attempt casually and only do it a jurisdiction and within the framework where it is legal and in a safe set and setting, with the appropriate medical evaluation (there’re several serious counter-indications), supervision and pre/post integration. This type of exploration should be taken very seriously, otherwise it will not only not work, but can cause serious harm.
Below is a compilation of resources that might be helpful:
The first book everyone reads is How to Change your mind by Michael Pollan
Then of course there’s Food of the Gods by Terence McKenna
A more practical collection of research and clinical experiences mostly from the before the ban era by James Fadiman
There’s a lot of emergent research that may be worth paying attention to, a good destination for that is MAPS
Should you want to see what pushing the envelope looks like: LSD and the Mind of the Universe: Diamonds from Heaven by Christopher M, Bache.
In the vein of ancient Greek philosophers, the specifics of such journeys tend to remain unspoken, varying widely from individual to individual. Nevertheless, here's what one might generally expect:
Allocating around 5 weeks for a well-structured process seems to be a common practice:
The first two weeks are for preparation. It's usually recommended to continue with regular work but to avoid unusually stressful situations. Abstaining from alcohol is required, along with maintaining a healthy diet (which one should do anyway). The real challenge is the need to forego coffee.
A week of actual retreat.
Following this, two weeks of post-integration are necessary. With increased brain neuroplasticity during this time, minimizing stress and focusing on contemplation is more crucial.
Approaching this experience with intention, yet being open to new insights, is often advised. A three-session protocol within a week has been known to be effective for allowing these realizations to emerge and facilitating thorough exploration.
It is often noted that the future remains a mystery, filled with myriad possibilities. This resonates with the belief that the Universe—or any higher power one subscribes to—is in a perpetual state of exploration, with each person acting as an explorer.
The dissolution of ego, acute focus, and a clear view of one’s life history enable an unfiltered perception of reality, often described as liberating from the usual mental noise. This can be challenging at times, but many report a clarity where excuses and justifications simply vanish, leading to an acceptance of reality as it is. In such moments, the relevance of preparation is frequently recognized in hindsight.
The path often becomes clearer during this journey—gaining an understanding of one's purpose, the reasons behind certain life events (not in a deterministic sense, but in a way that renders the unfolding of events logical, given the inputs and circumstances), and the potential paths ahead.
The high degree of focus may persist for several weeks.
Regular meditation practices tend to improve significantly, sometimes enabling brief re-experiences of the journey’s state.
A noticeable increase in kindness towards others, compared to one's usual behavior, is often observed.
It is suggested to keep a notebook close for reflections during and immediately after the experience. While the memories may remain intact, capturing the clarity of specific insights could be valuable.
The final question here is—can this be achieved without pharmacology? While the answer is obviously yes, as centuries of spiritual traditions confirm it, the practicality can be a challenge.
Some options include long meditation retreats, holotropic breathing sessions, and insights could also result from Kensho-type moments. However, none of these are reliable, time-efficient, or (in the case of Kensho moments) necessarily desirable (or predictable).
Hope this helps.